


what would i do without you?

by trappedbyvellichor



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, M/M, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-14 18:20:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29671323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trappedbyvellichor/pseuds/trappedbyvellichor
Summary: Most people only have to confess to their feelings once. When it comes to a very oblivious Remus however, things are a bit different.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 4
Kudos: 60





	what would i do without you?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [callithemuse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/callithemuse/gifts).



> happy birthday @callithemuse!! i hope you have a lovely day and an amazing year ahead, and hope you enjoy this fic:)

“You really think I can do this?”

“I’m sure you can,” assured James for what must’ve been the hundredth time, though the excitement still as fresh as the first.

The Gryffindor table never seemed so drowned out usually. But Sirius couldn’t hear a single thing other than his rapidly beating heart and James’s bubbling excitement in the form of happy whimpers and random motivational outbursts of “you can do this!”

This is it. Sirius was going to confess his feelings.  
“Moons?

Remus turned his head to face Sirius, who was wondering how the entire hall couldn’t hear his heartbeat.

“I- I have something to say to you.”

“Spit it out- or well, don’t spit out the toast.”

“I- uh,” started Sirius, before feeling a hand against his shoulder and looked back to James’s reassuring smile. “I- I think I like you.”

“Oh, why thank you Pads,” said Remus in a much lighter tone than Sirius would’ve expected for such a heavy confession. “I like you too!”

Sirius’s heart skipped a beat. “You do?”

“Of course I do!” Exclaimed Remus, putting a hand on his shoulder. “You’re like my brother Pads, of course I love you.”

Any hope that was bubbling up in Sirius seemed to come crashing down, and he had to bite his lip to stop an odd, choked sort of “oh,” escape his lips. “Th- thank you Moons, that means a lot to me,” he managed with a tight smile.

“Of course,” replied Remus, continuing to eat his toast apparently oblivious to the look that took over Sirius’s face for a moment. Sirius took a small breath, and noticed how James’s hand on his shoulder seemed more of pity than encouragement now.

“Pads, you good?”

“Very,” replied Sirius. He smiling brightly to show it, but everything seemed to hurt a little for the rest of the day.

* * *

But in true fashion, Sirius was back again, this time armed with a confession he’d memorised word for word the last night. The crumpled up pages he’d scribbled it on were still deep in his pocket.

“Moony?”

“Hmm?” 

Pushing strands of messy, golden hair that was covering his eyes, he looked up at Sirius.

“I- I have something to tell you. It’s not bad, don’t worry!” He added, noticing the way Remus’s eyes widened and his face drained just a little colour.

“What is it?”

Taking a deep breath, Sirius tried to keep his voice steady. “Moony, you’ve- you’ve been there for me through so much, and I’m so, so grateful to be your friend- if- if not more- especially after everything I’ve done.” 

Sirius took a breath, not daring to meet Remus’s eyes, before continuing. “Ever since James and I met you, you’ve been nothing but kind and amazing and just- perfect, and I know this may not be what you want to hear, but well, I just thought you should know. I love you.”

Finally meeting Remus’s eyes, Sirius let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. It was a wonder Remus couldn’t hear his heart beating hard against his chest.

“Pads-” started Remus weakly, his face drained of colour and his eyes wide.

Sirius held his breath, ready for anything.

“Thank- thank you- no really, I should be the one telling you- you accepted me, and I- I’ll always be grateful for that.”

Tears welled up in his eyes but he blinked them away.

Unconsciously, Sirius took the smallest step toward Remus, who might’ve done the same, but Sirius didn’t dare hope. He could almost feel Remus’s shaky breaths against his face, and count every freckle splattered across his face. And it took everything in him to keep his eyes from flickering down to Remus’s lips.

“Pads-” started Remus quietly. “Really, thank you. I love you too.”

And before Sirius could close the distance between them, Remus enveloped him in a tight hug. 

An incredibly platonic one that too.

Sirius bit his lip and tried to hug back.

* * *

It was barely a few hours later that found Sirius laying sprawled across Remus’s lap, unsure of how he was supposed to feel. With Remus’s fingers hesitantly toying with strands of his hair, Sirius tried to keep his breaths steady.

“Why didn’t you join quidditch practice with James today?”

“I was tired,” replied Sirius halfheartedly, knowing full well it sounded too far from the truth.

“Are you sure?”

Holding his breath, Sirius was unsure of how to answer. After a few moments, he decided on “I’m not sure.”

“Pads, are you alright?”

A breath hitched in his throat, and he could tell Remus noticed. 

Slowly sitting up as to face him, Sirius shook his head. “There’s- there’s something I need to tell you.”

Something in Remus’s eyes went solemn, and his position stiffened just a little. Sirius swallowed, eyes struggling to stay fixed on Remus’s, flickering down to the red and gold duvets between them.

“I love you.”

“Pads, I know-”

“Romantically,” interrupted Sirius. “I like you, as in, I have a crush on you. And have had. For quite some time now.”

Remus’s eyebrows shot up, and his eyes widened as his face paled. Clearly, that was not what he’d expected, and in another universe, Sirius might’ve laughed at the reaction. In this one though, he felt almost sick.

“M- Remus?”

But Remus simply blinked.

“Is it- is it okay?”

“I- no- I mean- you mean it?”

“Of course I mean it. But I- I can take it back, if it wasn’t appropriate, or maybe-”

However Sirius’s next words were muffled by Remus’s lips, crashing against his. Leaning back on the headboard, he felt a million different emotions all being drowned out by that familiar warmth.

And it felt like a million years, even if it happened in the span of a few minutes.

“Fuck, I love you,” mumbled Sirius against Remus’s lips.

“I love you t- that’s what you were trying to tell me?!”

Pushing away in surprise, a grin crept up on Sirius’s face. “Tried to tell you yes... this would’ve been much easier at the start though.”

“Oh Pads,” said Remus, leaning in again. “What would I do without you?”

**Author's Note:**

> hope you liked it:)


End file.
